Barbara Lewis: Singer/Songwriter

 

Two.days ago, I made the trip from Cusco, Peru to the ancient Incan ruin of Machu Picchu – first by mini-bus through the area where the train tracks had been washed away.

Then by train through the cloud forest  – ending up at the little boom-town of Aguas Caliente where people stay before and after they see Machu Picchu which sits much higher in the mountains. I was alone on the large bus that inched its way up the mountain side and around the many breathtaking hair-pin turns. And I was alone with my sense of wonder at the enormity and splendor of the Andes mountains. (Although, surely the bus driver felt it too.)

It had been a week of aloneness in Peru – my significant other was spending some days paddling a remote whitewater river from its source elsewhere in the cloud forest to its confluence with the Amazon. Planning ahead, I thought this would be a good time to launch my newsletter for this site – “Keys To Well-Being.”

WAYS TO BE HAPPY
And so on the solo trip to Machu Picchu and then to Lake Titicaca (a large diamond in the centre of a town named Puno, from where I write these words today), I have been thinking about happiness.

By some funny coincidence, the boat that took me (and 18 others) to the history-rich floating reed islands on Lake Titicaca was named Cusi or “happiness,” in the Quechua language.

Lake Titicaca has at least two major claims to fame: it is considered by some to be the birthplace of the Incan civilization, and at 12,500 feet, it is the highest inhabited lake in the world. Any thinking by me about “happiness” at this elevation was filtered through a perpetual headache, intermittent nose bleeding and constant tingling in all my extremities. Still, the trip was rich with the pleasures of environmental beauty and great history.

I have always felt that the seed of happiness stems from being at peace with where one is heading in life; with having purpose that satisfies certain primal hungers; and with having the ability to love and be loved. I see these life qualities as a deep river that flows steadily and progressively through the years.

But we humans move in and out of these waters so often in our modern, chaotic world, that sometimes we can only cling to a few practical ways to bring a little happiness back into our lives when the river seems to have dried up. And so I offer a few “ways to be happy” that I have found to be very helpful during the dry seasons.

TAKE A REST FROM FEAR (Ways to be Happy)
The human mind is a wonderful thing, but sometimes it needs to “take a powder” – especially when it comes to the daily onslaught of fears that fill our thoughts: fear of loss; of not having enough; of not being wanted or loved; of not fulfilling our spouses’ desires; of darkness (both inner and outer); of falling down; of failing; of succeeding and not being able to cope; of having harmed our children or not caring enough for our parents; of being ‘found out;’ of getting sick; of dying a painful death… The list of fears that float in and out of the mind goes on and on.

And these thoughts define to some or to a great degree – our lives. More often than not we live and make decisions through a veil of irrational fear that limits our ability to be happy. While I know that we will always live with fear – it is part of being human – what I do suggest is that we take a break – or rather, many planned breaks from fear. Here are several simple, inexpensive but powerful ways to leap back into the flow of water that connects us to our bigger, happier selves.

MUSIC FOR YOUR LIFE
A close singer friend of mine was recently diagnosed with a rare and difficult form of cancer. As a gift, a friend of hers recorded 8 CDs filled with beautiful music that she hoped would be like a “friend cheering her on from the sidelines,” as she went through the painful process of chemo and radiation therapy.

This unique gift of music touched my friend very much. She has already begun to call on those songs (both popular and classical) when she is feeling afraid or apprehensive about coming events.

Do this for yourself – think about songs and/or pieces of music that you love – that make you happy, that make you snap your fingers, sing along, or get up and dance. And include a few songs that bring you to tears, as well. (Crying out the hurt while listening to meaningful music can also be quite healing.) Burn some of these songs on to a CD or two and reach for them on the days when you need a special lift.

MEMORIES THAT HEAL
Take yourself on a selective walk down memory lane. Seriously. Lie down somewhere quiet and comfy.  Go back to a time in your life when you were very happy. It might be a singular event – or a day  – or a season – or even a year. Relive the feelings that you had during that time. No need to struggle with this act of remembering. Allow thoughts to surface. Follow them where they go. Re-experience the pleasure of happy times in your body.

In doing this, you may notice that your breathing changes. Perhaps you are breathing more deeply and slower. Or maybe you are excited and filled with exhuberant energy.

Feel it. Savor it.

This simple exercise is one way to remind yourself of what it feels like to be in a happy state. Not only do you remember the good feelings, but your body is experiencing them once again – right now. (Read here a recent study here about exercise, happiness and the heart.)

(The photo at right reminds me of a happy time visiting one of the reed islands on Lake Titicaca. A resident woman and her child dressed me up in her own clothing! The people on these unique islands made of reeds are continually re-creating their homes. The reeds, pulled from the lake, are also used for food and a variety of health remedies. The woman who dressed me up gave me a piece of a reed to chew on – perhaps to induce a smile, while the picture was taken.)

 

TAKE ACTION

Some people walk to relieve stress. Others run. I dance. I find that it is near impossible to think about anything stressful or unhappy when I am dancing. Colleagues of mine who dance – both men and women – have told me the same thing. They notice that the body is so wrapped up in action, that the brain gets very quiet. And what remains is a feeling of joy. Thus dancing & other kinds of action are a useful rest from fearful or debilitating thoughts.

 

Try to find a type of activity that does this for you. It may simply be walking in an attractive part of your town or city. It may be running on a treadmill while you listen to good music. Or perhaps you too are the dancing type. For me, it’s salsa and other latin dances. You may light up to line dancing or the romance of ballroom turns.

It is a well-documented fact that pleasing, well-chosen physical activity changes the chemistry of the body for the better. Get active in order let go of fear. Another way back to happiness.

BEAUTY BEYOND THOUGHT
As a final suggestion about ways to be happy – now and then it is wonderful to get a beauty fix. No, I don’t mean a trip to the spa, although that can certainly be fun too.

I am talking about art and nature. Go to an art museum. Visit a couple of places that sell fine art work. Or make a trip to see your local botanical garden, if there is one near you. Take your time. Absorb this kind of beauty with an open heart. No need to be reasonable about what you see. No need to judge it. Simply absorb.

In the presence of beauty, we are taken out of our usual ways of managing the world. Sometimes we are transported back into the deeper flow of life – with more spontaneity, less control – back to a state where the mind is calm yet energized.

After taking a break from fear – letting the mind rest – I find that I often return to daily life with a very different perspective. New ideas emerge about ways to handle events that may have seemed insurmountable just hours before. Look for and create these opportunities to approach your life with a greater sense of ease.

What I have given you above are just a few suggestions about ways to be happy. You will no doubt find others of your own. (Read here a long-term study about what makes us happy.)

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AS ANOTHER OF MANY WAYS TO BE HAPPY...
Listen to Barbara Lewis’s best-selling song, “Lullaby (For A Deep Sleep)”about letting go of past hurts.

Back from Ways to be Happy to the Barbara Lewis home page.